Making a meat smoker isn't easy, but then again, what revolutionary idea ever is? The process of turning an unused refrigerator into a powerful barbeque monster will be one of the hardest things you will ever have to do, and the fire regulations in your building will not make things easy. I often find that the best time to try to solve problems comes in the wee hours of the morning. The first hour or so, after I wake up, when my mind is running like a tank engine with all these great ideas. Granted, these ideas aren't always that useful--actually they're almost never useful--but they give my day meaning and more than anything, they are a reason for me to get out of bed. It has been during this early morning period that I have cracked many of the following rules.
Rule 2: Fundamentals
The final result I have in mind looks sort of like a refrigerator astronaut: with tubes coming out the top and clear plastic viewing windows allowing you to peer in. I was, for the most part, prepared for all the snags I would face in building this piece of modern ingenuity, however there have been certain holdups that I would never have expected. Take its name for example. Much like the excitement of having a baby, it is easy to get caught up in the thrill of the activity so much, that you lose sight of the basics, like what to name the damn thing. In fact, at the end of the project I imagine I'll feel like a new parent, except my baby will have a temperature gauge and my baby will be able to fire out pastrami in less than twenty eight minutes.
Rule 3: Loose lips sink ships
When going to the hardware store to get supplies, you will inevitably be asked by the nosy people working there, what you are using your parts for. Do not reveal anything. This is how great ideas get ruined: you tell little Jose behind the key-making counter and next thing you know, you'll have homemade meat smoking competition on your hands. One good explanation, I have found, is to say you are making a small animal trap. If they prod further, asking why you need industrial tubing, point to your stomach--rubbing it tenderly as if you had a stomach ache--and say the animal is in there. This is a sure fire way to get any snoops off your tail because no one (not even a hardware store employee) likes a crazy person.
Rule 4: Squirrel, the other white meat
Once your homemade smoker is in form, you can start smoking. Don't restrict yourself to beef or pork or chicken or fish though. If you have ever been a free trapper for an Indian tribe in your life, you have witnessed the glorious ongoing ritual of catching, butchering, and smoking squirrel (genus sciuridae) meat. Smoked squirrel meat weighs about one half the amount of fresh meat, however a poorly-smoked product can look like leather and taste like tree bark. What I like to do is dip the meat in some sort of hot grease (ghee works well) then suspend it from a clothes line where it will keep forever. Serve it with some blood soup and your guests will go crazy. About Author
Matt is very quick and pretty much the best/most skilled deep fryer that he knows. Check out his life on display at http://www.thepanamareport.com
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