1. when someone asks for your 10 digit phone number do not start with 1-555-555-5555, North America won't have 11 digit phone numbers any time soon
2. know the phone number you are giving to the order taker
3. US phone prankers are the dumbest I've ever had, they will wait up to 3 mins on hold just to be confused when the order taker reads back their phone number, I guess Jersey Shores highlights the smartest people New Jersey has to offer, that or they don't know what call display is. Canadian phone prankers will only stay on hold for about 30 seconds and even then they give the order taker a real phone number, usually a friend/enemy they hope will actually pay for the pizza delivered to them. Strangely I've only once had a pranked customer cancel the food, the rest barely remembered ordering pizza, what was ordered sounded really good including the anchovies and banana pepper pizza.
4. Do know your address, stores will cancel an order that has a deliver address as the corner of 5th and 20th street. It?s amazing the number of people who order food and don't know their address, sadly for most of them that's where they actually live.
5. Know what you want to order, and don't let the only person in the room who can barely speak English when they are sober place the order after finishing off a 40 oz bottle of tequila. We can hear the people who can speak English laughing in the background.
6. Be organized when placing your order, don't order pizza and then decide what you want when the call taker is on the phone.
7. Ever wondered why you where on hold for two to three minutes see 4,5,6
8. Before asking what toppings an international pizza franchise has stop and think...every pizza store in North America has the same toppings, some are better.
9. If you can't eat pork don't order a Pizza with Bacon on it. I actually had a customer who said he couldn't eat pork, and then ordered two pizzas with pork on them. I told him there was pork on them so he told me to replace the ham with bacon.
10. Ladies unless you are actually under 10 years old don't try to sound like a ten year old, that's extremely annoying, especially when you have a mid thirties woman hammered out of her mind trying to live her lost youth.
11. We can hear everything in the background, with our headsets and set at 10%, for some reason allot of intoxicated and impaired customers have to both yell and have the volume for their cell phone microphones set to maximum levels.
12. The kids with a special prescription for some indeterminable health illness will always order the brownies
13. In Canada the people of the Province of New Found Land have been listed with the population with the highest levels of intelligence. For good reason, they shipped the really dumb ones off to work in the Alberta Oil patch. (The smart ones working in the Oil Patch, went back to the rock to work in the New Found Land Oil Patch, the others still haven't caught on)
14. When placing an order from a hotel, know the local number, use the phone in your room, if you don?t know the hotel?s phone number pickup the six pack and take it off the hotel stationary sitting under it.
15. It?s been a very long time since an international pizza franchise stopped the 30 mins or it?s free guarantee... Still about 20% of customers still expect it; sadly none of them are people who order from that company.
16. Don?t call up and ask for what are on special, most franchised pizza chains have more than 10 specials at any given point in time. Remember point number 7?
17. When ordering chicken wings, since we are an international pizza franchise, it?s not possible for us to have the basic flavors (Hot,Mild,Medium,S&P.BBQ,Ter,LP,Honey Garlic) after all that would just make us pedestrian, Remember point number 7?
18. If you only want to spend X number of dollars tell the order taker, don?t place the order then realize it?s too much...also I really wouldn?t want to eat a medium pizza and wing combination(wings fries, veggies and free dips) that included delivery, and GST for less than $20.00. There is a reason why when you order the same pizza either in Edmonton or San Antonio it tastes exactly the same.
19. It?s not possible for an international pizza franchise to send out uncooked chicken wings, the wings arrive at the store fully cooked and frozen. All they do at the store is heat them up to 165 degrees F. Or higher, usually for about 5 to 8 minutes in a deep fryer set to 400 degrees.
20. Chicken wings are supposed to be greasy it has to do with be cooked in a deep fryer. What do you expect when you immerse meat in a boiling caldron of oil?
21. If you don?t want your chicken wings to be greasy ask if they can run them through the pizza oven, this works really well with honey garlic wings. Especially if you send the wings through twice, once without the honey garlic and a second time coated with honey garlic sauce.
22. Why someone would not want the chicken drumlets I?ll never understand, still they do love the brownies.
23. Don?t try and barter with an order taker, they can?t adjust the price. Please don?t give the phone to someone else who is normally good at bartering; the order taker still can?t adjust the price.
24. Pickup orders can be picked up in 15 minutes; this is a good thing when you?re going to be normally driving home past or close to the store. When you don?t want to pay the delivery charge here is some simple math.
Pickup Time 15 mins Delivery time (Ave 30 mins) Wasted Time Cost
Drive to store 7 mins Drive to store 0 minds Time with family 29 minutes Lost time with family ? can never be replaced
Drive home 7 mins Drive home 0 mins Time doing house hold chores 29 minutes Additional carbon footprint $9.00
Time not surfing web for porn 29 minutes Lost productivity $17.50 per minute
So it?s really important to save an average of $4.00 after all the food will still be mostly warm when you get it home and not already picked through by the hungry teenager in the back seat.
25. Lastly we are the only international pizza franchise that can?t take debit and credit card payments at the door. That would just add to being so common. About Author
I have to type a 1000 characters for this box? How narcasistic...I really have nothing interesting to say about myself. So I'll let my evil twin type for me...he's really boring. Just the other day he passed up a perfect oppourtunity to splash some poor bastard standing at a bus stop. How boring right? He won't even come hang out with me anymore to steal from blind orphans, do you have any idea how hard it is to find blind orphans these days? That's alot of work for pocket change. Mind you he did let me know that the burning sensation and discharge was a result of an STD, I thought rufiees protected me from that. I keep telling him being the evil twin is alot of hard work. It's a good thing I don't pay taxes on anything close to what I earn, not that anyone is going to say anything...well not anyone important. I put so much effort into being the evil twin you think he would at least say "Hey Evil One, great job" or rent me a prostitute for a week or two. He has no credit card
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